Tall, Taller, Not Tallest
by randomhumanbeing
Summary: There was once an Irken, he was taller than all other Irkens so of course, he was told he had to be Tallest. But he had no interest in ruling an empire or caring for its subjects, and preferred to be a technician. So he escaped Irk to a strange planet no other members of his species has heard of, Earth. His name is Professor Membrane and this is his story.
1. Chapter 1

A young Irken, about the age we would call, 'the teenage years' stood in front of the control brains. "Is there something wrong oh mighty ones?" He asked with a cock of his head. His Trial wasn't for another hundred years or so.

"No, Membrane." The women-sounding one said quietly, "There is something quite right."

"You have grown quite tall." A low voiced manly one continued. The Irken looked down at his feet, he knew the Control Brains' height and his approximate distance and used it to measure his own height. Approximately six feet 2 inches.

"Huh, I guess I have," He replied. He watched as the long metal tubes of the control brains moved towards his PAK. His mind flashed through every memory since smeethood. From the years he spent underground, when the thoughts of Irkens past were programmed into his mind and he was sent to his first assignment, than when he grew three inches and was told to be a scientist, when he created a food multiplier, he was 'rewarded' by becoming an Invader. He knew some Irkens reveled in Invasion and would cheer with joy upon being told they were good enough to become one. But despite years of training, he never felt that way, but nevertheless, he had a job to do for the mighty Irken Empire. He was sent to more planets, but his general pattern was the same. Build a giant robot, or advanced bomb, threaten the world and if they didn't comply destroy a few cities until they did. Sometimes he would mix it up and solve one of their problems like the time he went to Keetch and since the solved a famines, they were quick to let him take over. He honestly wished he could just go back to just building things.

The control brains muttered something among themselves. The word 'wished' seemed to bother them. Membrane caught a few phrases among the mutters.

"He'll be trouble."

"No doubt."

Membrane just stared at them, waiting for them to finish. The female one cleared her throat.

"It appears to us, Membrane, that you are in fact the tallest Irken currently living."

His eyes widened, "I-I'm what?"

The control brain pointed a sharp metal claw at him, "You are the Tallest. It's quite an honor, we'll reprogra-"

"Great Control Brains," Membrane said, "As," He couldn't help but flinch, "Excited as I am by this new circumstance, and as honored as I am to be the new Tallest…" He bowed, "Can I have a night to think this over?"

The Control Brains shared a look, "What is there to think over? You have become Tallest, the greatest honor an Irken can achieve. The thing most Irkens spend their life dreaming of. Are you ungrateful?"

Membrane knew the control brain had read his PAK. It knew everything he had been thinking since he became five feet tall, they likely knew what he was thinking now. His mind wandered over the word that everyone knew yet was only spoken in hushed, disgusted whispers. Defective. Irken's who were broken. Irkens weren't designed to 'want' anything other than to see their Empire flourish and to serve it in any way that they could. The best way to do this would be to follow orders and become the Tallest. Yet in his mind, there was a voice screaming like a banshee:REAL SCIENCE! He wanted it, craved it, loved it more than life itself. The sound of machines pounding, the sparks that flew in the air as he put fire onto metal to shape it into the next machine he felt like creating, the soft hum of a laser cannon warming up.  
"No oh wondrous Control Brains. I just wanted to…" Not able to come up with a good excuse, he ran. With their metal exteriors, the brains were too slow to catch him. He made it outside the room, he looked around, Spittle Runner, Spittle Runner, Spittle Runner, he was panicking so much he couldn't even think.  
He looked around for a different ship and luckily found one parked without anyone there to watch it. Almost on instinct, he summoned the robotic, spider-like legs from his pack and began to rewire the Spittle Runner.

It began to make a loud obnoxious beeping sound. That turned everyone in the area's heads toward him. Some Irken guards seemed to immediately realize what was going on and started to run towards him, shock spears in hand. It suddenly shut up as Membrane finished reprogramming it. The top opened and he went inside. Just barely making it before the spears started to hit. He quickly pushed a series of buttons, making the ship fly, he slowly began to increase the ship's speed as he went towards the other Irkens started to realize what was happening and several of them started to shoot. He quickly pushed some buttons and summoned the ship's shield. He knew it wouldn't stay up for long though, not against this much force. He frowned, it would be hard on the ship's engines if he went at Warp speed now, not with so little build up.  
He noticed several Irkens enter their own ships, he gave a nervous gulp, increasing speed further, his ship shook as another ship shot at it.  
"Computer, pull up a map of the Universe." He said, he flinched as the he heard the sound of another laser cannon blast one more shot and the sheild would be down. Before the cruiser could follow his orders, a red eyed Irken with curly antennae appeared on the screen.

"Membrane, this is a violation of… Almost every law that we have. It is highly advised that you return to Irk immediately."

For a few seconds, he thought about returning home. A series of images flashed in his head. First him returning to the Control Brains and begging for forgiveness, being reprogrammed with all the knowledge of being a Tallest and what he was made to do being put into his mind, the memory of his 'little mistake' being erased from everyone's memories. Years upon years of controlling an empire, talking to people, being a leader. Never again to feel the pleasure of hearing the soft tap of gears moving legs on a tank, never to see one of his creations being put to use.

"No." He said.

The Irken looked at him, confused, "No? You can't say no! Do you know what you're risking you idiotic-" He minimized the video and mutted it, than repeated, "Ship, show me a map of the universe." He repeated, the computer showed a map of the known universe. He looked over the map before typing in a few numbers.

"Sir? That destination is not within the known universe, are you sure-"

"Confirmed, put the coordinates in for my destination. He said. His heart pounded in his chest. He pressed a series of buttons to send the ship into warp drive.

"If you say so." The ship replied, and off they went, barely missing another shot. Just a ship and an unusually tall Irken off into the unknown.

Actions


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he did was order his ship to create an exact replica of the Irken scientist uniform. The obvious reason was that it was necessary to hide his face, but if he were to be honest with himself, he genuinely liked the look.

After that, he realized he'd probably need to disguise his ship as a dwelling, so he worked on creating a version of the Irken drill machines. There was horrendously little to work with, but in two months he was able to create a working, if untested version.. He frowned, nothing was technically necessary to create, but his fingers were itching… So he spent the next 4 months adding small adjustments to his ship.

He cleared his voice and turned to his dashboard.

"Log date 1800, another day without much action. My pursuers quit long ago, likely intimidated by my brilliance. I have reprogrammed the Ship I stole to make it harder to steal, if someone tries to touch it, a series of defense mechanisms immediately go off in this order. A robotic arm pushes away the intruder and tells them to leave warning them that the ship is Irken territory, if further contact is attempted it runs away exactly 10 paces, heat sensing lasers go off, and if further contact is attempted, it will self detonate."

He fiddled with the small, drill-like object. The repetitive motions were slightly soothing. He really hoped it wouldn't explode when he tried to build his house. That would be quite inconvenient.

"We have reached another planet sir, now may we attempt to land?" The Ship sounded exasperated after months of naming off planets and than being told they weren't allowed to land.

"What's the planet's name?" He asked.

"Planet unknown."

"Living organisms?"

"Affirmative, billions in fact."

He smiled, "So, we've finally reached the it. Ship, cloak and prepare to land."

Membrane stared out the window at the planet, the bright white clouds billowed over the off-blue oceans and the large patches of green-grey land. As the ship moved closer, the planet seemed less and less impressive as he started to notice the dark smog that filled the air. He didn't care much though, at least it was better than Irk. He frowned as he realized he had no way to gather data about the planet. His SIR unit was in his original ship. If he wanted to 'blend in' with the rest of society, he'd have to gather information himself.

He summoned a tractor beam and used it to pick up a small child. The child screamed as they were picked up by, what looked to them like nothing. Par the usual, everyone ignored the screaming child literally floating in midair and put his hand over the child's mouth. Its screaming annoyed him. The child looked up at Membrane with wide eyes.

"Now, will you stop that INCESSANT NOISE?!" Membrane shouted, the child flinched at the noise, but nodded.

"Is this a dream?" The wide eyed child said.

Membrane shrugged, "Sure, now tell me everything you know about this planet."

The child frowned, "You mean Earth? Well, there are a lot of cool an-ee-mals." He sounded like he was sounding out the words through his voice. Membrane was impatient "You're a member of the dominant species correct?"

"What's dom-an-ant?"

Membrane gave an exasperated sigh, "Humans built everything and rid this world of it's natural connection correct?" The kid nodded, "I guess."

"Good, alright, what are humans like?"

"We're like humans?" The kid said.

Membrane looked at the kid, the kid looked back."Where would I go to get basic information?"

"School? Or I guess you could go to the library?" The kid shrugged. Membrane sighed, he realized he wouldn't get a lot of information out of him. He set the kid down in the middle of a corn field.

Membrane returned to the city he found an empty lot in between several houses. He got out of the ship and put the drill down he watched as it scanned the houses around it and began to expand so it would have a similar shape to the houses around it. The ship was in the basement. He looked at the building, it was a fairly bland dark purple building. It didn't stand out, so no Irkens or humans were likely to see it as suspicious. He walked inside and found the interior was just as bland. He went downstairs and found his ship and equipment in the basement. It would work as home for now.

Back on Irk

Tallest Miyuki sat on a giant throne. She was talking to a Vortian engineer. "Yes a ship. my Empire is growing every second and I cannot be stuck in here. I expect blueprints in the next week." Her eyes narrowed, "Understand?" The engineer nodded quickly. She gave a small, humorless smile, "Good, you may leave."

A female Irken burst into the throne room.

"My Tallest," The female Irken quickly bowed, "You summoned me?"

She nodded, "I have read your request to continue to follow Membrane. She stood up, a wave of fear washed over the room at the movement. Her shadow covered the Irken's entire form. The Irken's antenna laid flat against her head. "I want to wonder why you are questioning orders."

"But Tallest Miyuki, you don't understand-"

The Tallest's eyes narrowed dangerously, "What don't I understand?" She said, her voice was cold as ice.

The red eyed Irken female flinched as she realized the problem with her wording, yet she continued to speak, "He's a, a Defective my Tallest! If we let him run around the universe unchecked, he could destroy everything you've spent all this time trying to build. I beg you to let me go after him, for the sake of the empire."

Tallest Miyuki frowned, "Do you run the Empire?" She said calmly.

"N-No my Tallest."

"Hm, interesting, do you have any more questions?"

The female Irken looked down, ashamed, "Yes my Tallest."

Tallest Miyuki nodded, "Return to your post Naq."

Naq walked out of the throne room, but instead of directly returning to her post she paced and muttered to herself. "Tallest Miyuki is of course brilliant, so why would she…" Her eyes lit up, "She's trying to test me, that's it. She nodded, "She wants to make sure I'm able to follow orders, even when they seem illogical." She frowned, if she was right and her Tallest was testing her, then she should stay. But if she was wrong, that meant her Tallest was wrong and for the sake of the Empire, she should disobey decided to stay unless there was an active threat.


	3. Chapter 3

Membrane really didn't want to leave his house. He liked his house and was comfortable inside and outside there were so many people. That was the point of course. He sighed and pulled up his hologram. The only real difference in his appearance was skin tone and the lightning bolt shaped hair that hid his antennae.

He stepped outside the door and squinted at the brightness of of the sun. A bus passed, leaving a trail of black smoke behind it, making him cough. Membrane glared at the bus and continued to walk. He avoided large puddles of brown looking liquid that stood on the street. He arrived at the library, but the entire trip felt like an endless series of deathtraps. He considered himself lucky to be alive.

He walked to the nonfiction section, too embarrassed to ask where the best place to find information on human interactions, he wandered through the first 's when he met her. Her skin was significantly darker then his hologram had been, but that didn't faze him. Different shades of green existed in Irkens, color discrepancies were expected. She was far shorter then him, yet she was strangely intimidating. Perhaps it was the proud way she held herself, or the way her purple hair was shaped, like the sharp claws of a dragon grabbing onto her head.

She cocked her head, "What are you doing here?"

Membrane was confused, "I'm not allowed to be here?"

She shrugged, "Technically you are," she walked around him, lips pursed. She peered into his goggles. He nervously pulled up his collar, the way her golden eyes looked at him made him uncomfortable. She was a lioness and he her unwitting prey."But most people don't come to this section. Curious."

He opened his mouth, about to ask 'what section is this' before thinking better of it.' "Why are you here then?"

"I asked you first."

"Yet the question is equally relevant to both of us."

She nodded, "Fair enough than, I have a fascination with the paranormal. Making the unknown, known. However, I am perfectly aware that this is not considered a," she bit her lip, "normal interest among my peers. If anyone asks, I'm a biology major."

"There's no value in normality if you have no interest in what you're doing."

She cocked her head, "Agreed. Now," her eyes narrowed, "I will repeat. What are you doing in this section of the library?"

"I was, um, looking for new material." He said with a shrug, "I've read all the interesting books in the other sections so I thought, I might as well."

She raised an eyebrow, "Really?" She stepped forward, "That's peculiar, because I've never seen you before."

"You weren't looking hard enough."

She nodded, "Possible, what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't." He said, she was very close to his face.

"Well, you should. It's impolite to hold a conversation with someone and not state your name."

"Membrane." He said, he turned around to look at the books around him. He hoped she would leave him alone if it was clear that he wasn't interested in talking. His two hearts skipped a beat as he saw a book on UFOs. He picked it up and looked it up and down, "The True Story Behind Abductions." He rubbed his finger along each letter on the cover. He heard someone clear their throat behind him. He whipped and found it was the same girl as before.

"My name is Yelp, Yelp 's your last name anyway?"

He sighed, she asked a lot of irritating questions, "Membrane."

She frowned, "Your name is Membrane Membrane?"

"... Yes."

She shrugged, "Well, it's not like I can judge, but still." She squinted, "There's something off about you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said, putting the book back.

"I think you do." She said, "I think you're lying to me, and I'm going to find the truth."

He sighed, "There's no 'truth' to find, so good luck with that."

She grinned, "Luck will have nothing to do with it. I'm good at finding things."

They looked at each other for a few minutes, studying each other, waiting for the other person to walk cleared his throat, "Well, I'm going to go read this. Goodbye."

"Adios Membrane." She said a small smile on her face, "I'll see you around."

Membrane found a small nook in the corner of the library and began to read. He gave a sigh of relief, human knowledge of extraterrestrial life forms was severely lacking. They couldn't even inhabit another planet and the vast majority of them didn't seem to believe aliens existed. As long as he didn't bring unnecessary attention towards himself, most of them wouldn't be suspicious. He put the book down, feeling at ease.

He walked throughout the sections, the library was empty, in the corner of his eye, he saw a tumbleweed pass by. He sighed in relief as he arrived at the 300s and found books on human interactions: Sociology.

Apparently humans were so far behind scientifically that they didn't fully understand how their Pa-erm-brains worked. Their understanding of social interactions were limited as well. There were theories of course, three main ones in fact, conflict theory, structural functionalism and symbolic interactionism.

He frowned, symbolic interactionism seemed to be the actively useful in deciding the best way to blend in. Unfortunately it was also the most understudied of the three. He found himself thinking back to the conversation he had a few minutes earlier. His height hadn't bothered Yelp; she seemed to view him as a peer. That was a relief. He hoped most humans didn't ask so many questions though.

He finished the book in about half an hour and found it rather unhelpful. Around his third book he felt his eyes glaze over the words. A lot of information tended to be repeated, yet he continued on until a voice came through the speakers, telling him the place would soon be closing. He put the book down and began his walk back home.

Back on Irk

Naq sat inside a Spittle runner, the only things around her was the vast emptiness of space. She pressed a series of buttons, right, center, center, left, causing the newly created Spittle Runner to slowly move off the ground. She turned a knob precisely 3/4th of a degree, causing it to make a turn right, she turned the same knob the opposite way and made it turn left. She frowned, testing Spittle runners was her job. It was what she was programmed to do, following Membrane would be a Soldiers' job, it was a mistake to contact him in the first place.

And yet.

She shook her head and continued to test the runner. She didn't like the 'and yets' of the situation. It worried her, because it suggested she might be de- bad. An Irken whose loyalties were misplaced. She clicked pushed a toggle, increasing its speed. She pulled a lever, which created a counting mechanism on the screen, that labeled the speed. The numbers turned red and the ship said, "Warning, approaching Warp speed. Continue?"

"Affirmative." She said, then put in a random series of coordinates into the ship. The ship became a blur and she arrived in Galaxy Alpha, near planet Peak. She pet the ship's dashboard with a small smile and pressed the button on the far left of the ship, which pulled up the monitor, "Base, can you hear me?"  
A male Irken with green eyes appeared on the screen and nodded, "Yes Naq, can you hear me?"

She nodded, "Contacts work in Runner 277652."

"Movements?"

"Efficient."

"Speed?"

"Excellent."  
The male Irken nodded, "Return it."

She nodded and pressed the same button to get rid of the monitor. She frowned, she knew her job. Return the Spittle Runner to the mechanic who would give it back to the military, who would use it to follow the orders of the Tallest and Control Brains for the good of the empire. As such, logically, it would be best for the empire for her to stay here. She was programmed to stay here.

And yet.

She was alone in space, it wasn't as if she'd get caught, not easily at least. If she left and failed, she would be erased from existence and wouldn't appear in the next generation's PAK memories. She would have betrayed the Empire she held dear to chase after a defective.

A defective that that threatened their entire way of life. It was the duty of every Irken to serve their Empire and protect it at the risk of their own life. As such, it wasn't def- she shook her head at the word. Hunting down Membrane would be following her programming to a T, and the act of disobeying her Tallest would be justified in a long run.

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, then slowly increased the Spittle Runner's speed. Her Squeedlysplooch lurched. For a split second she contemplated returning to Irk, being reprogrammed and hoping those 'and yets' would go away.

"Approaching Warp Speed, continue?"

Her voice cracked as she replied, "Affirmative."


	4. Chapter 4

Membrane returned to the library the next day, and there she was. That Yelp girl was sitting at one of the tables reading a book titled, 'Venturing Into the unknown: A field Guide to Cryptids" he walked straight to the Sociology section, hoping she would be too engrossed in her book to pay any attention to him. Alas, that was not the case.

"Sociology huh?" She cocked her head. He nodded.

"Interested in the human condition?" He nodded.

She frowned, "Is that your major than? Or just a hobby?"

"Major?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Yes major. As in college. Not that it's necessary to go to college mind, but if you're into sociology I would think you would be enrolled." She looked him up and down, "Yeah, you seem about my age. Where do you live? How are you getting money if you don't have a job and aren't going to any sort of school?"

He shrugged, "I-um," It wasn't like he could just say 'My need for sustenance is mostly limited, my Pak keeps me alive and my dwelling came from my own brilliant creation so I don't need your human money'. "My parents are giving me money, I work from home."

She nodded, casually, "That explains your odd hours at least. Pretty lucky. What's your job?"

He sighed, weary of her, "Do you usually ask people this many questions."

She gave a sly smile, "Most people wouldn't let the conversation get this far." His face paled, apparently this wasn't how normal humans interacted? Her grin widened, "You intrigue me Membrane." On instinct he stepped back, she raised an eyebrow and stifled a chuckle, "Jumpy aren't you?"

"Will you just, leave me alone?"

"No."

"Don't you have anything better to do? You're supposed to be studying for this… College-thing aren't you?"

She shrugged, "I've read my chapters for the next few days. Reading isn't as useful when it comes to studying a subject. You need to engage with it. So for now, I'm bored and find you fascinating. Simple as that." She looked at him with a small smile, "Are you going to pick your book or what?"

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "Will it make you go away?"

"Nope."

He sighed, and looked through the books, keenly aware of her presence as she watched him. He picked up a book titled, 'The Masks We Wear: A guide to understanding Dramaturgy.' And sat down in the same chair he sat in on the first day. This time, Yelp sat next to him. She left him deeply uneased and everytime she would look away, he would take the chance to scoot slightly farther from her. Of course, she would do the same when he would dare look down at his paper. Their chairs made quiet thumping noise as they slowly moved further and further left, until Membrane reached a wall.

He stood up, "You're disrupting my reading."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I just wanted to sit closer to the window!"

"Lies!"

"Prove it."

He was about to shout when a library worker walked into their area. "Speak again and your tongues will be ripped out of your mouths."

Yelp gave a small squeak, "Sorry it won't happen again." Membrane nodded in agreement. The library worker glared at them, her eyes had the heat of a thousand suns, but she eventually walked away. Membrane went back to sitting down, Yelp sat down next to him. He glanced at her book out of curiosity, 'The Science of Hunting'.

"Why-"

"Cryptozoology is still a variation of Zoology."She said, "Discovering possible acestories of the Cryptids I know about, using what little information we have to try to find the correct combinations of foods, water and possibly social structures to try to capture them. Those basic things we need to take from normal biologists and indeed hunters at time working to capture normal species."

He nodded, the concept of taking one science and reapplying it to your field of study wasn't a very difficult one to grasp.

She stood up and stretched, "Anyway, I'm going for lunch." She thought for a second before adding, "Do you want to come with?"

Membrane looked at her body posture, her hands were on her hips, legs slightly open a 'power pose' that humans used to establish dominance and build their own courage. Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Despite her tone of voice, this was not a polite offer. It was a trick. Though he didn't know how.

"Well?" She said curtly, it was only than that he realized he must have been staring. He didn't quite know what to do; he knew she would only push harder if he said 'no'. She was clearly not the type to quit easily. Luckily the library was empty, so there was no social pressure to say 'yes'. There were no benefits to going, and the drawbacks were strong enough to stop him from saying 'yes'.

"No."

"Why?" She said, taken aback,

"Because I don't like you."

"Well sure, but are you really going to skip out on lunch because of that?"

"I'll eat at home."

She raised an eyebrow a huge smile on her face, "You're walking all the way home just to avoid going to lunch with me?"

"Yes."

"Seems a bit extreme."

He thought for a minute, trying to come up with a better excuse. If this was indeed extremist behavior for a human, her suspicions could rise. "Monies!" He said, he put his hands on his own hips, matching her power pose.

She shrugged, "I'll pay if you can't afford it."

And at that point he ran out of ideas, he wished he could vaporize her. Unfortunately he didn't bring his gun with him. "If I go, will you go away?"So he put down his book, and decided to join her for lunch.

There was a long pause, as she thought over the possibilities she would lose if she did leave him alone. She closed her eyes and said, "Fine, let's go."

Space Coordinates: 1,000 meters from Irk  
Spittle Runners are small, not the best for pacing, but that didn't stop Naq from trying. She'd just betrayed her people. Oh Irk, she just betrayed everything she knew. Her hearts pounded in her chest. And to make things worse, she had no idea where she was going.

Part of her worried that Membrane flew away from the known areas of the universe entirely. If that were the case, there were hundreds, if not thousands of potential planets she would need to test. Her only knowledge was that he went West near the beginning.

Unless… She clapped her gloved hands together. Honestly she was surprised she didn't think of this earlier. If you don't have the supplies you need on hand, you outsource. She set the coordinates for planet Vort.

Planet Vort, the second best inventors in the Known Universe. The first best obviously being Irkens. The political relationship between the two planets is neutral.

A small Vortian child ran up to Naq. If asked, Naq likely couldn't tell one apart from the other, but the child's darkened skin tone signified that he was biologically male. He gave a small squeak, his pupils dilated slightly and he ran away in fear. Naq smirked, the Empire's reputation still had an effect despite their 'truce'. Good. It wouldn't hurt to put a little fear in the hearts of those she would be bargaining with.

As she walked down the streets, she noticed that people would on purposely move to the other side of the street, or make themselves smaller when met their eyes. There were a few though, a light purple Vortian with three children, a larger Vortian whose skin was nearly black, they would meet her eyes. They glared at her with pure, unfettered hatred. Whispers followed her, 'brainwashed', 'Dangerous', 'monstrous'.

The planets were at peace, but that didn't mean that the people didn't have their own views on the war mongering, constantly expanding Empire.

She wondered what they would think of her, a proud servant of the Empire. Ready to give her life for the potential of helping them reach their miraculous, inevitable goal. She wondered what they would think of Membrane. The traitorous scum who betrayed his people for no reason.

She shook her head, it didn't nor would it ever matter what they thought. Whether they knew it or not, they too would eventually be devoured by the might of the Empire. She felt a hint of pain though, as she saw Vortian couples walking in the light of the double moons, heard the soft, high pitched melody of a Warbersnap as it echoed throughout Vorts largest city. It would be a shame- no, that was traitor talk. She might have disobeyed orders but she was not a traitor. She opened the door of a technology shop and looked at the person at the front desk.

"How may I-" He looked up and made a growling noise in the back of his throat.

"I want a tracker for Irken ship's Uranium trail." She said simply.

He eyed her with suspicion, but nodded. He walked to the back of the store and took out a bright blue device about the size of a coffee mug. "1,000 monies." He said, he hadn't taken out around 5 different versions of said device, so Naq knew he wanted her gone as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for him, that wasn't going to happen.

"I'm on official business, the Empire will repay you once my mission is complete."

He shook his head, "I don't trust you for a second. No money, no sale."

Her Pak legs extended from her back, one pushing her over the counter, the others pointed towards the shop owner. They sparked with blue electricity, ready to attack. "I do not wish to-" She felt a sudden, sharp pain in her lower leg. The world started to spin, her Pak legs returned to her body in an effort to conserve energy. Her body went into stasis.


	5. Chapter 5

The restaurant the pair went to was called Three Little Doggies the i in 'little' had a giant brown cowboy hat with blinking yellow lights on the trimming.

"Welcome to Three Little Doggies." Her voice was monotonous with a slight hint of annoyance"Yee-haw." She rolled her eyes. "Can I get y'all any drinks this evening?"

"Water." Yelp said, Membrane ordered water as well. The waitress left. Membrane looked at the menu, The food was all foreign, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to pronounce it correctly. And then there was her. Yelp, sitting across from him, a knowing gleam in her eye.

"Having trouble deciding Membrane?" She said, her chin in her hands.

"Of course not."

"You know, if you told me your secret, I would be perfectly willing to help you." She tilted her head slightly and gave a soft smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said.

She closed her eyes and sighed, "Of course you don't." The women came back with their waters, which Yelp sipped. She looked into his goggles the entire time.

"Are you ready to make your order?" The lady said.

Membrane shook his head, "I need more time."

The lady rolled her eyes, "Alright then."

Membrane gave a sigh of relief.

Yelp sighed and tapped her finger on the table, "You're going to have to order eventually." She said, her voice sing-songy.

She was right of course, but stalling wouldn't kill him.

"You know, this could all be over if you just told me your secret."

"It's impossible to tell someone a secret if you don't have one."

"You're impossible."

"No, just incredibly unlikely."

She rubbed her temples and sipped some of her water. Membrane gave a small smile, perhaps she would get annoyed enough to end this pointless quest. The waitress returned to their table.

"Do ya'll know what you want now?" She looked at Membrane.

Membrane shook his head, "Five more seconds."

She turned to Yelp, "What about you?"

Yelp sighed, "A" She squinted at the name, "Hey diddle hotdog?"

"I'd like that as well." Membrane said.

The women looked at the two of them boredly, "Will that be all?"

The pair nodded, the women said she'd be back in a bit. Yelp glared at Membrane, sipping her water, "So you just happened to be in the mood for hotdogs then?" He shrugged. She continued to stare at him, "I'll find out you know. Maybe not here, maybe not now, but I will find out what you're hiding. And when I do," She held up the desert menu, "victory will be sweet. Sweet enough to give me tooth decay."

The waitress put the hotdogs in front of the pair. Membrane raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't tooth decay something you want to avoid?"

"I- uhm- SHUT UP! The point is I'll find your secret and get that sweet sweet victory."

"Why would you want victory if it gives you tooth decay?"

"Are you truly this obtuse?"

"Yes, that's my real big secret. Congratulations, you figured it out."

Yelp glared at him and took a bite of her hotdog, chewing slowly. The fat, red meat dripped with grease that soaked the paste colored bread. Membrane´s skin turned a soft yellow, he felt sick just looking at it.

¨Well?¨ Yelp said with a small cock of her head, ¨Aren´t _you_ going to eat?¨

He frowned, automatically eating it would be idiotic. As Irken-oid as humans seemed, it would be incredibly dangerous to eat their food without full knowledge of its chemical components. For all he knew It would only take about 5 minutes to study the food. He just needed to distract her long enough that she wouldn't notice him putting a sample of the hotdog into his Pak.

"There's a thing! Outside! Look at it!" He pointed dramatically out the windows. She turned her head, confused, giving him just enough time to pick a small piece of the hot dog off with his fork and put it into his Pak.

She glared at him, "There was nothing there… What are you playing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you tell me there was a thing outside?"

"I thought there was, must have just been a trick of the light."

She glowered at him, but continued to eat her hot dog. She looked at his Pak absentmindedly, "Why is your backpack glowing like that?"

He hadn't thought about that, "It changes color based on the temperature."

She nodded, "Makes sense." She continued eating in relative silence. 5 minutes past. Membrane's eyes widened. A PH of 5.8 He watched in absolute horror as she took a bite out of the acidic meat cylinder. The horror.

"You okay Membrane?" She said, "You look a little queezy, maybe you could use some water." She pushed the glass towards him. Oh God if these types of people ate acidic cylinder's of death. He pushed the water away from him and ran out of the restaurant. He made it five blocks then smacked his head, well that was it. He was finished. Cover blown. He arrived at his base.

"Computer. Prepare for escape immediately. Time to find a new planet I suppose."

The computer immediately began to reconfigure itself back into a proper ship, however after 10 minutes, it stopped and an alarm sounded.

"Intruder alert!" A monitor appeared in front of Membrane, showing him the exterior of the Base. It was the girl, Yelp. Holding the books he'd left at the library. His eyes widened as he remembered his first warning signal.

A large robotic arm shot out of the living room, hitting Yelp squarely in the chest.

"THIS BASE IS IRKEN TERRITORY. LEAVE NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF ATTACKING AN INVADER."

"Shut down all warning systems." Membrane said, he rubbed his forehead in shame and sighed.

Yelp stood up and wiped off her clothes, a small smile on her face. Her eyes gleamed, "So… Irken huh?"

Vort's Prison Complex

Naq's eyes fluttered open, however, she was met with only darkness. She groaned softly and rubbed her head. Memories quickly came back to her. She was forced into stasis, her mission was in jeopardy. She got up the room the room seemed to be made to increase feelings of claustrophobia, with a short cealing and walls that leaned inward. She took two steps towards what she believed was the exit. Her antennae twitched as she heard someone speak.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Said the voice timidly. Vortian, one room away from her, far right. "Escape is a bad idea, especially for someone in your position."

Her eyes narrowed, "What do you mean?"

"The- uh- the Guards said they were going to contact your superiors. Something about 'being allies not pawns?' Uh, I think the guards are really mad about… Whatever you did.¨

¨And I should care-¨ She rolled her eyes

¨Because they won´t be afraid to hurt you.¨

She grinned, ¨That makes two of us then.¨

¨A merchant put you in stasis.¨

She paused, if looks could kill and the cells weren´t so dark. Her voice lowered, ¨Your point?¨

¨Imagine 17 of those same merchants. Properly trained in combat. Are you starting to get the picture?¨

She nodded, then remembered that she couldn´t see him, ¨Affirmative.¨ She paced, ¨But there must be some means of escape.¨ She pointed at her neighbor, ¨You, what is your name Vortian?¨

¨Pree.¨

¨Pree, I will be sure to reward you after this is over if you help me escape and complete my mission.¨ Of course, she wasn´t even sure if she would live through this mission, much less be able to reward him. If her Tallest wasn´t pleased with her action… She gulped, as the word rang through her head, an endless irritating loop. Defectivedefectivedefective. She shook her head.

¨I-I honestly don´t know how to escape. I wouldn´t really be here if I did. Although, I guess with an accomplice it would be a lot easier wouldn´t it? I suppose then ah, yes. I´ll try my hardest!¨

¨Excellent. Now let´s look at our supplies. I have my Pak, which holds the keys to my Spittle Runner, my Pak legs, a self destruction device, a scanning device, a Chemical Reader, several wires, and of course my magnificent brain.¨

¨I have my horns and the clothes on my back.¨ He replied, then sighed, ¨We´re already proving to be quite the formidable duo.¨

There was a large sploosh sound in Pree´s side of the cage.

¨What was that?¨ Naq asked.

¨Glonch.¨ Pree said, the disgust was evident in his voice, ¨Every nine days we get a bit of this. Just enough to keep us alive-¨

¨Yes, yes, the prison is bad. What I mean is… Can we use it?¨

His eyes widened and he let out a wild grin, ¨Your Pak… There are rumors… Can it create an electric current?¨

¨Indeed.¨

He let out a small giggle, ¨Oh that´s perfect! The light of Rentalla gazes upon us tonight! Let´s set this place ablaze, partner.¨


	6. Chapter 6

Earth

¨Why are you here?¨ Membrane asked, glaring at Yelp

"You forgot your books." She said dryly, she raised an eyebrow, ¨Are you going to let me in Mr. Irken.¨

He sighed, the defense system wasn't his brightest move in hindsight. He should have gone more, he eyed Yelp, automatically lethal. He supposed he could let her in, trap her in his base and get weapons while her guard is down. He opened the door wider to let her in. Yelp walked inside, her eyes scanning the building. She looked disappointed. Yelp quickly turned back to Membrane.

¨I have left overs from lunch in here.¨ She pat her backpack. Her eyes held a malicious gleam, ¨If I go down, these go straight into your face.¨

He flinched at the idea of those… ¨Hey Diddle Hotdogs¨"hitting him, It´s contents would likely leave hideous, burning welts all across his face.

¨You know, if your plan is to take over this dump, you´re going to have a pretty hard time if a hotdog can scare you.¨

¨That isn´t my intention.¨

¨Huh. So than why are you studying humans?¨

¨I need to… blend in for personal reasons.¨

¨Who are you running from?¨

¨Better question: Will you reveal who I am to your authorities.¨

Yelp stood there for a few minutes, she bit her lip as she contemplated the notion. ¨Not yet.¨

¨Yet?¨

Yelp shrugged, ¨Perhaps I will publish my findings eventually.¨ She grinned widely, eyes sparkling with excitement, ¨But I need to get information first, right? So how about a deal?¨ She walked around him, eyeing him. Membrane felt his antena lower back in fear, despite being human she gave off the energy of a predator. She stopped in front of him, ¨Ïf you let me study you for at least an hour a day, I will give you information on how to more easily blend in on Earth.¨

Membrane squinted, as good of a deal as this sounded that ´if´ worried him… He summoned his Pak legs and thrust them forward, only to give a loud scream as his face began to burn horribly. It was like someone thrust it into a boiling pot of oil, and the physical results were much the same. His legs quickly retracted, as his Pak focused all of it´s energy on healing him. In the corner of his eye, above the red hot pain he saw Yelp had gotten out a pen and paper and was taking notes. After 2 minutes, the pain subsided, leaving only an ugly red welt. Yelp held out her hand to help Membrane up, who quickly pushed it away.

She gave a small hurrumph, but nodded, ¨Now that we understand each other Irken, do we have a deal?¨

Membrane´s eyes were narrowed, revealing his intense hatred of her, but he nodded back. Yelp left, Membrane sighed, took down his disguise and rubbed his forehead, this was going to be a long lifetime.

Vort´s prison Complex

At least 9 more days. Naq grit her teeth. Pree had explained to her that they needed at more Glonch in order to create a fire large enough to burn through the metal or create enough smoke to force the guards to let them out or let them die. Naq paced her cell.

¨Be patient, 9 days is a breeze compared to 12 years!¨

Naq glared at the wall, she didn´t have time for this. Unlike Pree she had a job to fulfil, a horrible, treasonous job. She shook her head, now was not the time. Before she could properly take in her surroundings and try to come up with a new, better plan that wouldn´t take nine days to enact, a high chipper voice rang over the intercom. ¨Hello Naq, welcome to Vortian Prison Complex 12927! Here we believe in redemption and goodness for every wrongdoer. So for the rest of our stay here we´ll be doing projects and watching videos to encourage your growth and maybe have a bit of fun along the way! Since your crimes are: assault, attempted theft and-¨ There was a short pause, just long enough for someone to blink, ¨Please hold.¨

An obnoxious song played over the speakers, a duet between two Vortians it was times like this when Naq wished Paks weren´t installed with translators. ¨And shall Rentalla wish it, our love will forever burn, with the light of a thousand suns!¨ Gag. By the 4th verse Naq was thoroughly debating pulling out her antenna. Luckily the voice returned to the speakers.

¨Right… Well, here´s your first video where we´ll talk about why stealing is wrong!¨

A screen lowered itself from the ceiling. A brightly colored animated bird flew into focus.

¨Hello current prisoner! My name is Lon and today, we´ll be talking about why stealing is wrong. Are you ready to have a good time?!¨ An audience of offscreen children screamed with delight. Naq banged her head on the floor. She was sure on some planet this would be considered a form of was going to be the longest 9 days of her life.


	7. Chapter 7

9 Days later, Earth

Membrane´s tongue stuck out on the corner of his lips as he turned a screw into the gun-shaped object. He checked his notes, everything seemed to be going fairly well yes- he gave a loud screech as he felt his antennae being pulled at. A static-like noise filled his head and he temporarily went deaf. He looked around for the culprit, hissing when he saw Yelp.

¨What was that for?¨

Yelp turned on a recorder, ¨How would you describe that experience?¨

His antenna went flat against his head, it _hurt_. His eyes narrowed, ¨How did you even get _in_ here?¨

Yelp gave him a look, ¨You invited me in. I knocked, you said ´don´t touch any of my things´ and I followed you down here.¨

Membrane had vague memories of doing so, though he was mostly focusing on fixing his blueprint.

Yelp kicked her legs on the chair she was sitting on, ¨So how would you describe the experience of me pulling against your antenna? Are they sensory?¨

He pulled down his goggles as he put together two wires, ¨If you wanted to know about Irken biology you could just _ask_.¨ Not that he knew everything about Irken biology, that wasn´t his field but as ´ears help a human hear´ is common knowledge among humans, ´antenna are sensory organs´ was a piece of knowledge encoded into his Pak since he was a Smeet. He explains the basics of how they work, how the vibration of soundwaves caused them to vibrate slightly and send information based on that into his Pak-

Which caused a 5 minute conversation on what exactly a Pak was and how it worked. She had to switch out the tapes on her recorder several times. Primitive tech with it's lack of memory. He supposed he could have given her something more advanced to work with; nothing as advanced as a Pak when it came to storing and weeding out information that was useful but something. He didn´t. He took a small, amount of satisfaction in watching her accidently drop and pick up and fumble with the tapes while he talked about the Pak as a weapon. By the time they were done discussing the basics of the Pak and how antenna work, she´d used up five tapes and it was around midday.

She stood up and pat down her eggplant stood up after, putting up his hologram she frowned at him, "Well?"

Membrane looked confused, "Well?"

She frowned, ¨Are you really going out in a labcoat and goggles? Not to explain the obvious, but that´s not exactly how most humans dress. You´re going to stand out.¨

Membrane shook his head rapidly she sighed, ¨At least make your hologram into a more human looking outfit.¨

Membrane crossed his arms, if asked why he couldn´t explain why this was so important to him. Perhaps it was his defectiveness seeping in, allowing him to only feel comfortable wearing and letting others see him wearing this particular labcoat. He was fond of it.

She reached for his labcoat, Membrane´s eyes narrowed and he stepped back, ¨Couldn´t you just say it´s my fashion sense?¨

Yelp paused for a moment, thinking, then nodded, ¨I suppose most people would buy that.¨ She wrinkled her nose in mild disgust when she spoke of most people. She rummaged through her bag for a bit and pulled out three pins. She put two on his chest, one with a red beaker that said ´science´ on it and a square one with a helium atom on the top left, a computer, on the top right, two gears on the bottom left and a multiplication and division sign on the bottom right side. In the center it said STEM. She put the last pin, a nebula that said Nasa, near his Pak, before a Pak leg quickly grabbed it and held it to the metal. She looks him over and gives a content nod.

¨There, now you look like about a quarter of the people in science club. If anyone asks we´re both students at Hyberlain Univeristy.¨ Yelp explained as she closed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. Membrane nodded, and off they went,

¨Test run.¨ Yelp explained as they walked into a Walmart and she led him to the soup istle, where she bought what seemed to be around 10 meal bowls and 10 cans of cream of chicken soup and put it in her cart. It was cheap and tasted fine. Nothing like food at home though. Membrane noticed the sad look on her face but said nothing about it. He was quiet in general during the trip, watching how people behaved studying and mimicking them. A few people gave them confused or outright nasty looks as they went through the 20 items or less lane but no one said anything. He noticed the person wearing what looked like a cutout dress of a flag and had two guns slung on his back got far less odd looks. He made a mental note of that.

Yelp gave a content nod as they left, ¨No one noticed, of course Walmart´s always busy so it´s possible people will notice in smaller environments, but you blended in well enough. She smirked, ¨Your welcome.¨

Membrane squinted at her, ¨What exactly did you do?¨

She casually leaned forward and flicked his pins. Membrane rolled his eyes.

Membrane raised an eyebrow, "What exactly did you do?" Yelp smirked and flicked the stem pin. Membrane rolled his eyes in response. As the sunset, they went their separate ways, Yelp to the campus and Membrane to his Base.

Vortian Prison Complex

Naq shook her head. After 5 hours the videos for today had finished. She´d tried to make watching the videos more bearable by turning her Pak´s translator off, but all that gave her was a sound like a baby wailing while someone dragged their nails against a chalkboard followed by applause. Needless to say she preferred the lower tones of the translator. She quickly scribbled down answers to the follow up questions. (What did you learn today? If someone or something makes you angry, what are some better coping mechanisms then attacking?) And the paper vanished.

She turned to her partner´s cell, ¨PREE, do you have sufficient Glonch?¨

Pree gave a thumbs up, completely aware that Naq couldn´t see the motion. ¨yes.¨ He said, his voice was hoarse and his legs buckle when he moves the large, moist pile of sludge to the wall between their cells. Naq pursed her lips as she heard the distinct sound of his body falling against the ground.

¨If you´re too weak to run, this isn´t going to work.¨ Naq said.

Pree shook his head, ¨Nono, it´s- I´m fine. Everything´s okay.¨ In hindsight he should have seen this coming. He just needed to focus enough to complete this task. He slapped his own face twice, gently. There would be time for napping later. He covered the wall in the sludge, making sure every inch of it had at least some of the substance on it. He licked his fingers when he was done and took a deep breath. Hopefully this worked.

¨Now!¨ It was at that moment that a pair of beings in bulky robotic suits embalmed with two triangular horns on rectangular head rushed into Pree and Naq´s cells. They´d been watching from the camera and seen what he´d been doing, but it was too late. Naq summoned a Pakleg and watched as a cerulean strip of light flowed out. As soon as a single spark hit the Glonch, the sludge erupted in a burst of brilliant green flames. A guard grabbed her by the collar of her tunic. She could feel every ridget of the cold metal hands of the suit, they were build for maximum movement and dexterity. She took a moment to marvel at the craftsmanship. Powerful yet versatile.

¨You´re going to regret this-¨ Their face was expressionless, hidden under the robotic mask, but their voice was filled with anger.

Naq grinned in response, showing every single one of her jagged teeth, ¨I don´t believe that I should be your main focus right now.¨ Her voice was sing-songy. One of the green flames licked at the leaders boots, melting it´s guard gave an angry bleat but moved Naq hold under their arm instead. Easier to carry. They pressed a communicator on their collar with their other arm.

¨Naq and Pree have been apprehended, but the fire is spreading quickly,¨ they coughed, thick red smoke was beginning to overtake the room. They nodded and pushed their body against the cell door, forcing it to open. Naq watched as the trio passed cell after cell in the tower building. A glowing yellow eye stared at her from one of the cages hanging from the ceiling. Even the green light that was overtaking the building had no effect on those cages, it seemed like the beings in there absorbed the light. She felt a shiver run down her spine. She shook her head. Focus.

She summoned a sharp pakleg, slowly moving it towards the leg of the robotic suit. The guard was too busy running to notice as she attached the leg to a screw. As soon as the trio reached the bottom steps she unscrewed the leg at the hip. The guard tumbled down the stairs, accidently dropping Naq, who did a tumble to lesson the impact of her fall.

She ran out of the tower, expecting the other guard to be in hot pursuit. Behind her she could hear the guards speaking.

¨Don´t worry about me-¨

¨I always worry about you Silvinas.¨

¨Go get the prisoner,¨ A loud hack, ¨I´ll be here when you come back.¨

Naq grinned. She was a good few feet in front of the tower, she could see a small town emerging in the distance. She could almost giggle in her giddiness, until she was pulled back by the back of her tunic, her feet were swept off the ground. She glared at the figure in the robotic suit. It put her on his shoulder.

¨We´ll move faster this way.¨ The voice was distorted but the number of people this could be was limited. She gave a small smile.

¨Nice to see you.¨

¨The feeling´s mutual.¨ He replied. He glanced back at the fire in the distance as it overtook the building. Beautiful.

¨By the way, I´m assuming that you have a ship? Where is it?¨ Pree asked.

Naq´s eyes widened, she put her head in her hands, gripping her forehead with her claw. ¨Probably towed.¨ However, Pree didn´t seem to to view this as a problem, he put a robotic fist in his hands.

¨Time to get arrested for arson again!¨ He said, sounding almost giddy about the adventures to come.

Halfway down the hill to the town, he collapsed.


	8. Chapter 8

Earth, Membrane´s base

Yelp frowned, ¨You´re working on another project? This is the third this week.¨

Membrane put the battery in the small silver box he was working on, it was made to trigger a complete lockdown of his house when he pushed it. ¨Yes. I got bored with the others.¨

¨So you just quit?¨

Membrane thought for a second, ¨Yes I suppose I did.¨

Yelp went back to staring at him wordlessly, as she tended to do when she was around. Scribbling down notes and small drawings of him. Membrane´s antenna twitched in irritation but he didn´t look up from his project.

¨May I help-¨

¨You´re humanoid.¨

If he had an eyebrow it would have risen, ¨That´s very human-centric language.¨

Yelp shrugged, saying she was Irkenoid felt far stranger, ¨With insect-like traits-¨

Membrane sighed as he took out his minitourch, ¨A tip for you if I may, stop using human and Earth terms to describe things that aren´t from Earth or aren´t human.¨ He snipped at a wire, ¨Just describe the traits that I have as you see them. Vertebrae, approximately 5 feet 4 inches. Sensory antenna.¨ He waved his hand in an ´and so on´ gesture.

She nodded, taking notes, ¨What do you know about your Irken history?¨

¨Only as much as needed to do my job accurately and,¨ he snorts, ¨Remain loyal to my people. In most cases at least.¨

She jotted down a note. She frowned, ¨So you don´t serve as an accurate example for most of your species then?¨

He nodded, ¨Yes, I have traits that many of those in my society reject and one- namely my height- that they´d praise had I given them the chance.¨

She groaned and put her head in her hands, ¨Great, just great. All these notes and I´m not working with an average member of the specimen. From what you implied I might as well be taking notes on an autistic albino and going, ´this is what humanity is like´¨

He nodded, the second word didn´t translate into Irken quite well, but adjusting it slightly into Vortian, Keetchian then back around to Irken it made slightly more sense. A failure of fully organic specimens to have completely functioning Pak brains. Albinism was common enough in all species that he only needed a proper definition. ¨Not an inaccurate way to describe things.¨

She sighed, head still in her hands, ¨What am I _doing_ then?¨

He snipped a wire, ¨That´s your decision. You´re free to leave.¨

She started pacing the room. Membrane took out a wire and put it next to the one he´d cut. He hummed and put the second wire back in his Pak. He took another one from his Pak, hummed again, nodded and twists it to the wire in the box. A small spark came from the box. He pursed his lips and shook his head, slightly adjusting the battery.

Yelp slammed her hands on his desk, startling him. ¨I´m not leaving, I´m not just going to give up my what might be my only chance of communicating in person with an extraterrestrial just because my research won´t be one hundred percent accurate to your species as a whole!¨

He blinked, ¨Why not? It´s not sensible to-¨

She waved her hand, ¨Sensible shmensible.¨

¨What? What does that mean?!¨ He searched the database but shmensible was not a word.

She shook her head, ¨Figure of speech, not the point!¨ She pointed at him, ¨Tell me everything about your society!¨

He opened his mouth and closed it. How did she go so quickly from topic to topic like that? Why was she so interested in him despite getting little to no useful information about Irkens from him? ¨Humans are an odd species.¨

She gave a wide grin, ¨I have some traits many members of my species would reject.¨

He blinked, did humans have a concept similar to defectiveness then, ¨Interesting.¨

He explained the way Irken society functioned the height based hierarchy and how an Irk´s height was based on the purity of their DNA, however he was interrupted.

¨You have efficient cloning technology?¨

He scoffed, ¨Of course, most advanced species do. Maternal death rates used to be an extreme problem before the Control Brains entered society and gave early Irks their Paks, causing rapid evolution both socially and physically for Irkens as a whole. We currently have no maternal death rates and can properly weed out undesirable traits in our people instead of needless, senseless natural deaths.¨

She frowned, they had a word for that on Earth, "Your species practices eugenics?"

He hummed, "I suppose so, though it's very exact… And humans seem to give it a very negative connotation."

She laughed darkly, "There's a connotation all right, wait-" she looked him up and down, "You're fairly tall. Not giant, shorter then me but-"

He stopped screwing in his screw, "Tell me more about humanity."

She noticed that he interrupted her question to avoid it but resolved to let it go, "What do you want to know?"

"Well, a basic history would be useful. It would seem peculiar if I didn't know what was going on for the last fifty odd years."

She sighed, and talked about the political climate in the last few years, the growth of industrialism combined with the slow but certain dumbing down of their species. Membrane was surprised at how familiar it all seemed. He was tempted to ask if a few decades ago a highly advanced species came to Earth and gave them technology, but before he could get the question out, she checked her watch and cursed herself for being late to class. Another day.

Vort

Naq waited patiently in an alley outside of the hospital for Pree to be patched up and given enough sustenance to survive. She was grateful once more for her Pak Irkens didn´t have these kinds of problems. Through the brick of the apartment building, she could hear a news station playing. She put her head up to the wal, the tips of her antenna touching the cold green brick.

¨Empire… Vort… Escaped prisoners… Tallest... ¨ Her eyes widened to the size of saucers when she heard that last word, ¨War.¨

Those 6 words determined several things for her, 1. She´d need a disguise. 2. She needed to get off this planet as quickly as possible and 3. Her Tallest was even less pleased with her actions then she´d assumed. She shivered at the last one. She had forgotten her place, she should have stayed and waited for an Irken guard to fetch her from the prison. She could be back home, her Pak fixed so she would on longer be a defective, working on ships, not being a traitor to her nation. Instead here she was, on Vort-

No, she clenched her fist, she was here on a mission for the good of Irk. Membrane needed to be either destroyed or brought back to Irk so his Pak could be rewritten and the role of Tallest could be taken. This was a test, her Tallest was planning conquering Vort with or without her interference. They could only be trading partners for so long after all… She sat down next to the wall. Pree was taking ages.

She heard a long whistle from behind her, "Evening Pree."

"Have you seen Vort, it's only been 24 hours since war was declared and everyone's on lockdown." He didn't sound bothered by any of this, on the contrary he sounded enthused as always.

"Indeed, travel will be harder."

"Not for me it won't. I'm the oldest of 12 and I'm one of a triplet."

She sighed, "So what, you're going to abandon me then?"

He grinned, showing off his small, slightly pointed teeth, "No, I'm still holding out on you finding some way to reward me down the line defective. If anyone asks my name is Ferario and yours-" he takes a hat with horns, some purple spray paint and a pair of shades out of his backpack, "Is Weldon." He took a mirror out of his backpack, She looked… Sort of like a female Vortian? Her face-shape, teeth shape and thicker arms and legs gave her away but she supposed if someone were far away or not paying attention she supposed it was possible that she could hide.

She took a deep breath, alright, disguise on. Fake identity, on. Time to steal a ship, steal a tracker and get Membrane.


	9. Chapter 9

Earth, an arcade.

Membrane was beginning to get suspicious of the places Yelp was taking him to. They were so… Mundane, ¨Is going to a place like this really useful for helping me blend in?¨

She nodded, ¨Of course!¨ She put 10 dollars into a machine and about 20 different gold colored coins came out. ¨It would be far stranger if it looked like you didn´t go anywhere except the store and home. You´d come off as a hermit and hermits are noticeable.¨

He closed his eyes and took the coins. Early in evolutionary stages social species. Annoying. He eyed the machines until he found one that fit his tastes. Space Invaders. He went up to one of the games, read the directions and put a coin in. He chuckled at the basic graphics and simple mechanics. It wasn´t too much different from the games Smeets are given after their first 2 days of hatching. Which obviously made it far too simple for him.

He quickly got bored with the game and moved on to another, and another, and another. He easily got tired of the games and didn´t hesitate to move on. It wasn´t an entirely enjoyable process though. He could easily see how this could be useful to human smeets. He knew that Yelp was watching his every moment and taking notes on his speed, dexterity and general reflexes. It was incredibly unsubtle with the way she 'just so happened' to pick the games next to him.

After about an hour, he felt Yelp tap his shoulder while playing Eat Em Up; a strange game where you feed a hungry man fruit as he gets chased by blobby creatures.

"I have to get to class." She said quietly

He rams the hungry man directly into three blobs in a row ending the game. "I'll head home then?" They'd been out all day and the look and smell of humans was starting to bother him.

She shook her head, "Remember, you said you were going to the same school as I was. If you show up in at least one class or lecture it will make it seem more likely that you actually go to this school."

He squints at her, "And you're positive this is necessary to blend in?" He starts to follow her out of the arcade.

"Yes, absolutely, you want a lot of people to see you and confirm that you are, indeed a human person they know. Do you have a backstory yet?"

He groaned, rubbing his forehead "This is so much work, do humans really pay this much attention to things?"

Yelp paused for a second, musing over the question. "Usually they're not, but you never know. Besides, It won't kill you to be more social."

"You don't know that."

"Is that a property of your species?" Yelp snorted

"Absolutely."

Yelp grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the arcade. He dragged his feet all two blocks to the University of {Redacted}.

Membrane squinted, "I think my translator-" Yelp opened the door and they entered the large center room. She sat him down in front of the office.

"Nono, it's called the University of," She made a noise like a static television, "Founded by Henry {Redacted}. No one knows where he came from, they say the government doesn't have any mentions of him. He just founded the school and vanished. I did research on him during my Freshman year and found nothing. I'm still hoping- Hey wait where are you going?" Membrane started walking towards the door while she spoke.

"I've been seen."

"No you haven't!"

"More then that Henry has been!"

She huffs, "People are still searching for him."

He glared, "Only you"

She glared back at him and for a few seconds they just stared at each other like that, "I have to use the bathroom. Stay here until I'm done with my genetics class." And with that she was gone. Membrane had no good reason to follow her rule. He thought about it, he didn't like much less care about her and how pissy she'd be if he left. He'd already been seen by every person who'd been in this area and wanted to go home since the arcade.

His thoughts were snapped out of focus when he heard a man say, "Are you the new genetics teacher."

Membrane didn't know how to respond, "Um-"

The man handed him a button that said, 'Proffesor Horison' and led him down the hall, "Excellent, you'll be teaching the class in building D classroom 110." The man walked him down the premises, his hand on Membrane's shoulder (far too close in his opinion.) to stear him. He talked nonstop about [Redacted]'s long and proud history but constant need to replace teachers due to 'Accidents.' Membrane couldn't get a word in edgewise before he was thrown into a classroom filled with students everywhere from 20 to the 70 year old in the back row.

Yelp immediately locked eyes with him, her wide eyes showing her clear confusion and disbelief.

Membrane cleared his throat, "Good evening sme-students." The class was silent, Membrane looked around the room and suddenly broke into a wide smile, beakers? Chemicals? Primative devices for looking at Microbes? This was his element! "Ignore the badge," he threw it at the wall and it shattered, "My name is Professor Membrane. Who's ready to learn some SCIENCE?!"

Ansol Street, Vort

Thunder boomed through the streets, Pree and Naq were barely protected from the full bute strength of the storm by the awning of a small locally owned resturaunt.

"Rentalla is not with us tonight friend. We need to seek shelter." Pree said simply.

"What?" Naq scoffed, "I'm not afraid of this planet's weather."

Pree shook his head, "Not even the shadiest of ship delers would be outside right now. One drop of our rain contains a good deal of pesticides and growth hormones, which is great for our crops and farmers but means in storms like this it's not safe to be outside. "

"It will be far LESS safe to be outside when my Tallest deides to attack Vort. I need to complete my mission and I need to do it SOON."

"It will be hard to do that if you're dead." Pree said, "You also still owe me which means I'm not going to LET you die yet."

Naq clenched her fingers, then chuckled, "You're not going to LET me?!" She pressed a finger against Pree's chest, "I believe out allience has given you a sense of unearned pride Voritan." She hissed the name of his species in her own tongue.

Pree's eye twitched, "It's not my sense of pride and stubborness that's the problem here."

Naq growled and moved to attack him when a grey Vortian who only went up to her knee opened the door of the resturant, "Uh, hi," the child gave a nervous bleat their eyes to the ground, "Mom told me to tell you that if you want to fight you need to do it somewhere else."

Pree glared at Naq, then calmly pat the child on the head and said, "Tell her that Ferario and a friend need a temporary place to stay."

The child gave a smaller bleat, "Yes sir! Right away!"

There was a series of chair movements a tiny shriek and finally a heavy-set blue Vortian woman appeared at the door, "Good evening Mr. Ferario. Welcome, come right in!"

"Give me a moment to talk to my partner." The Vortian woman left and Pree turned to face Naq again, "You're coming inside with me do you want to know why?" He gave a vicious smile, "Because I"m curretnly disguised as my brother, leader of a..." He thinks for a second on the word, "Protection group lets call them. With a few calls I can send you straight back to prison while the kids in there hide me in their closet out of fear.''

"You little-'

He holds up a finger, "If you attack me the same thing will happen." He leans in, "You're in MY territory Naq, but don't be too worried." He pat her head, she clenched and unclenched her fists. "As soon as the storm stops, we'll find a ship and get you on your way to finishing your mission."

She took his hand, and the two of them walked in.


End file.
